Saturday, March 27, 2010

Apologies and picking up where we left off

I really should be keeping up with this more than I do.

The past few weeks have been such a mess. I'm going through a world of ridiculousness with a few people here so in reaction to being sick non-stop and depressed and all over the place, I haven't been as together as I'd like to have been while on my program here. I officially put through my extension and requested to move to character attendant, while having my current role/location as my second choice and attractions as my third. I hope they let me switch to attendant. At the same time though, aside from my wrist, I really do like my job whenever I'm in the world showcase. Its just Future World that I'm not particularly fond of. Spaceship Earth and I have a love hate relationship. Also, no one asks me how to get to Soarin when I'm in the World Showcase, which I don't miss one bit. haha.

After going through the toughest couple of weeks I've had to deal with in some amount of years, I'm hoping today is the start of moving forward. I woke up feeling a bit better, although everything is still lingering. I'm really hoping I can pull out a bit of bravery and put on a nice face and just let things fall where they may. I think most of my trouble is how much pressure I put on relationships I have here. I can't entirely help it, as these few people have become my life here, but I need to learn to be on my own. I haven't actually been by myself without depending on someone else since I was 15. Its something I have to learn to do, and while its a little late, better late than never.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Life Developments

In an attempt to collect myself and update the world abroad, here is my life:

One: I'm withdrawing from my classes. I'm so far behind its ridiculous and I just don't have the stress capacity to attempt to catch up. Unfortunately, this puts me in a bad spot in two ways. The first, Texas has a law where you can only withdraw from six classes during your college career. This will make three for me, and I'm probably halfway done with school. "Probably" because I have yet to pick a major or a university to transfer to. The second, I'll have to pay back the student loan I received this semester, which I've already spent. This adds financial pressure, which brings me to my next point.

Two: I'm broker than broke. Yesterday I went to the bank to pay back my negative balance of $362. Repaying my loan will be on top of paying rent on my apartment in Texas that I'm currently not living in since I'm in Florida, paying car insurance which I haven't been able to afford since January, and catching up on medical bills from my year of hell where I continued to be sick without health insurance... plus living here on eight dollars an hour. I'll manage, I just need to reorganize my spending priorities. 

Three: My boyfriend, Charlie, and I broke up. We ended six mostly wonderful years together and while I'm entirely devastated and disappointed that things didn't work out, I think we'll both benefit from it in the long run. Of course, I'll always love him and he'll continue to be one of the most important and influential people in my life, but I just don't think we're right for each other anymore. <3

Four:  Applications for program extensions go up March 15th and I'm applying. Khristine and I are going to try to be roommates. I'm still on the fence about whether I want to try to extend in Photopass or not. While I love my role, the equipment is really difficult for me to handle. Its ridiculously heavy and my wrist is in a constant state of injury. I've already been sent to health services and I wear a brace when I shoot, and most of the time at home as well. I think I'm going to try to extend into Character Attendant. The only downsides are that I love taking pictures. When I'm shooting characters especially, I still get super giddy and happy when I know I'm capturing amazing moments. Secondly, the paycut from PhotoPass to Character attendant is 75 cents less an hour. Considering my current financial predicament, I may try to choose another high paying role if I can help it. Happiness or security? The ever present life question. 

Five: I've been trying to consider different options I may have after the summer is over, should I get the extension. Since I'm moving out of my apartment with Charlie, my stuff and my dogs will be at my mom's house, where she said I could stay for as long as I wanted.  My mom is one of my best friends and I know we'd have a blast together. Should things continue to go well here at Disney World, I could extend a second time to stay here through January on the college program. Or, as a wild and exciting and not-well-thought-out idea, I could try to move into the Adventures By Disney side of the company and see the freaking world. We'll see haha. I have a few months before I need to pick a path. Hopefully the decision comes easily.